We've all had them. Do they drive you crazy or what? Do they confuse you? Is it possible or advisable to fire them as friends? Should you try and do something to turn them into true friends? Should you hire a hit-man? What on earth do you do with a frenemy?
For various reasons one quite often has no choice but to live with a frenemy; whether they be a fixture in a larger circle of friends, a work colleague or a family association. Sometimes it's even an old school friend who over the decades has become ensconced in your life but for various undefinable reasons seems to harbour ill will. You can't put your finger on it but you know that they're just waiting to turn the knife in your back. That feeling might have been lingering for years already; the subtle sensation that they do the happy dance at home when you fall on your face; that unmistakable sense that when they call you to console you after your break-up, they are positively oozing satisfaction at the wreckage that is your romantic life. When you tell other friends about your concerns re the toxicity of said frenemy you find that somehow this makes you look mean-spirited, petty, hysterical even.
Ugh... the dark, dark taint of the frenemy. Surely there is no blacker arte?
The Frenemy Fix spell:
Before I describe it, it is worth mentioning that, magically speaking, frenemies do pose a genuine risk of jinxing your money, love and overall luck. Many folk-traditions maintain that jealous friends and family members have an especially strong ability to influence your well-being by means of what sometimes is called the evil-eye. So it's not all that surprising that a frenemy can feel like such a problem. The fact is when people harbour you ill-will whether they act on it or not, simply wishing it upon you can have an effect. Combine molochia with a little gossip, social manoeuvring and the kind of game-playing that the frenemy is so masterful at, you have a rather bitter cocktail that you are forced to sip every other Friday night out with the girls/guys.
Frenemy Fix Oil
Purple jumbo size candle
A piece if devil's shoestrings
Two whole pepper corns
Calamus root (powdered)
Liquorice root (powdered)
Powdered crab shell
Picture of the frenemy
Glass jar with screw-top lid
Butt and reverse the candle. Carve eyes and mouth with a sharp knife near the new 'head' of the candle. If you like, you can take a magic marker and draw outlines for the eyes and mouth, to make it more realistic. Take a tiny pinch of gun powder, mix it with some crab-shell powder and a tiny pinch of red pepper and stuff that in the mouth. You can keep it there by dripping a little wax from a tea-light, to pack it in the mouth. This is to ensure that any gossip, innuendo and double-speak back-fires in the frenemy's face. Take two whole peppercorns and stick a peppercorn in the pupil of each eye. This is to cancel out the frenemy evil-eye effect.
Carve the frenemy name in mirror writing on the candle (you should be able to read it in the mirror). Next, baptise the candle with holy water that has a little sugar dissolved in it:
In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit I baptise thee N.
This baptizes the candle whilst keeping the frenemy, seemingly, sweet.
Dress the candle with Frenemy Fix oil, then dust it with the powdered Cloves, Calamus and Liquorice. This is to dominate and control the frenemy, so that you gain the upper hand, but will also to keep them nice. If your frenemy is particularly wily and you worry that they might suspect something you can sprinkle some poppy seeds on there to confuse them a little.
Find yourself a spider's web in the garden, basement or attic. Wrap that web around the candle and as you do so say:
"N. may you become tangled up by your own devices! May your scheming come to nothing! May your own words and games get you snared up like fly in a web"!
Take the photo and write the command TRIPPED UP & TIED DOWN over the pic nine times. Dress the pic with some Frenemy Fix oil in the quincunx pattern and then wrap that around the piece of Devil's Shoe Strings. Take some thread and wind that around the pic and root - and tell the root to hold the frenemy down and tie them up. Work it spiritually as you bind that up.
Pray over the whole thing. Call your frenemy out and tell them you see what they are doing and every one else will too and that they will have their tricks reversed back on to them. Light the candle. Sit there watching it burn and continue to work it spiritually until the wick burns down to the 'mouth' and that gunpowder ignites. As it does loudly call out your frenemy's name and tell them all their games and tricks will blow up in their face!
Leave the candle to burn down. When its done, cover the remains with molasses close the jar and put it in a dark closet.
Obligatory Safety Notice:
Please, do not blow yourself up with too much gunpowder! I mean it. TINY pinch.